The circle of life, it is nature, everything dies, the sayings go on but it does not make the emptyness and the sadness of death any better. I will admit I feel a bit self centered at the moment while I write this blog and I supposed I do it for my own sanity. I realized people die everyday and while I write this blog, thousands of people are still being recovered in the massive earthquake in Port Au Prince.
Have you ever love an animal so much it hurts, I mean it really hurts? Chinook the Ferret as you can tell is my favorite pet. Der, especially everything is labeled Chinook so I supposed that is a no brainer. The thing I am experiencing is the anniversary of Nikomi the Ferret's death. A month from this date, it will be a year since this little critter that brought so much love in our lonely lives and I fear Chinook is not too far behind.
Thank goodness, Chinook is healthy and doing well but I see his age in his movements everyday. He moves slower. He does not play long. He rarely does his war dances like ferrets do, mostly because I think it makes him tired. He sleeps more. He cuddles in my arms and occasionally licks my arm while I pet his fur all along I am wondering how I am going to handle his death when that time comes. Sometimes, I fear death is lurking in my house, like a presence, or just a gut feeling, so I hold Chinook and say a prayer or two and try to keep him on this earth for another day with my love, my hopes, my prayers. I know I will carry on when that dreadful day comes but it does not make it any easy. I try to cherrish the days with him as much as I can and feel guilty just the same by forefeiting my time with him to look for a job, experience life. I do not know why I have this attachment to my ferret friends. Funny thing, I had a ferret years ago and did not have this bond with my Chinook or Nikomi, God Rest his soul. I supposed there is something missing in my life that I hang onto to Chinook, hanging onto him so hard like I feel the grip of Death is trying to yank him from my hands. I had declined to go on a cruise, day trips, and other life's pleasures because I feel an obligation to make this animal happy at all costs. I supposed I am crazy but I love him. Time to finish blogging and time to wake Chinook up and play some more before it is just too late. Even though you may not know me or my pet, say a prayer to St. Francis, Jesus, for Chinook.
